Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He did a backflip because drugs
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize