if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
