It was confusing and full of hummus
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
