the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
