it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
