If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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