I'm eating all of the evidence.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
