i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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