...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
