yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
