don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
