Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize