well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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