Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
