yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
