I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize