Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize