I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize