Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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