return my video game
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
