my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
