Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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