OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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