Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
