I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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