Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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