yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
