Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
honey bunches of taint.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize
