I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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