I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
