Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I got inside last night via doggy door
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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