So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
