Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
