Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
