I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
well you can't waste a boner
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
