if i can run in heels then i can drive
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
