he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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