I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
