I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
