i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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