so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
