How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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