I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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