I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
