You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize