Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
