do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
