My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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