We got so high we made milksteak
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
