My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
