I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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