I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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