Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I want to fling myself into the sun
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
