I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
