Need sex. Gaining weight.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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