The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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