so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
