Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
