I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
do nipples grow back?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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