the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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