News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
