yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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