Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Couch. On fire.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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