Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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