And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize