Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
