I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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