I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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