"it" just moved
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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