Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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