Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
