dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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